Reflections

An honest reflection on parenting in a Community Household:

A. Young children need a lot of time in nurture, comfort, training, guidance and play.
B. It's difficult to prioritize energy out-put and time...to people and life in community? or to my children?...and these decisions are constant.
C. The level of volume and number of interruptions is high, allowing little time for in-depth conversations and quietness with and for the people living with us.
D. It's easy for me to feel judged in my parenting style and in the behavior of my children.
E. Children need a lot of attention and will compete for the attention of their parents and people living with them.
F. I have to be confident and secure in my parenting style and children and be willing to explain my style or my child's behavior when others don't understand and/or agree. Yet balance this with an openness to suggestions and critique.
G. I need to be OK with giving space and time to people living with us, which means being away from home.
H. People living with us must be OK with A - G, be flexible, and take time to be involved with our children.
I. There must be room for mistakes made by everyone, and there must be an atmosphere of grace and forgiveness! Children are great teachers in this area.
J. Parenting while living in community with 3 very young children very close in age is too demanding, too time consuming, and too overwhelming because of the "constant-ness" of A - H.

Conclusion: being an introverted person who stays at home full-time with my children who are very young and very close in age is not conducive to life in a same household community!

Other factors that may affect communal life positively:
A. If the full-time stay at home parent could have a part-time job, it would likely decrease the intensity of children and communal life
B. Have a highly structured and low intensity communal life
C. Every member of the household has very specific and very clear roles, especially when heavy-duty parenting is involved
D. Children are joyfully incorporated into the life and activities of communal living.

So, all this comes as a result of living with other people in some form or another for three out of the past five years...ever since we've had children!
It's definitely been a rich and good experience, and I've been challenged and sharpened by the people with whom I've lived.

However, I'm ready to have a home with "just us". Not in the sense of being completely inwardly focused and where our family is everything, but where I am free to focus on my children and my home and not feel like I have to have my attention and energy pulled elsewhere, or where I am concerned about how my child's energy and enthusiasm and child-like chaos is affecting other people.

BUT, I still crave and need community and want to be involved in the life of people around me, sharing meals, helping, sharing resources, discerning how to live, and serving Christ together.

Life is full of learning.