"But I don't want to (insert directive given) Mommy/Daddy!", says Elliot in a really whiny voice. When told he needs to obey anyway, he bursts into tears and really loud crying, sometimes evoking his little brother to begin crying too. Or maybe he decided to totally ignore the directive given. Argh. Frustration. Deep sigh of impatience that comes from dealing with a whiny boy all day long.
Here's hoping that this is just a stage. Here's begging and trusting that God will give us wisdom, patience, and an extra measure of unconditional love.
Does this sound familiar to any of you? (Just to make sure we're not alone!)
3 comments:
Argghhh. I can so relate, just at little younger age. Israel is driving me CRAZY IN THE HEAD lately...He will wake up and every. single. little. thing. will throw him into this massively upset tantrum. He doesn't have enough cereal in his bowl, or not enough milk, or I poured the milk on instead of putting it in a cup for him to pour, or there is something wrong with his chair, and he will just throw himself on the floor in despair and BELLOW out his sorrow. And when those tears are mopped up, something else happens, and it just repeats itself over and over throughout the day. I feel sort of confused as to how to handle it. At first we tried ignoring it, now we send him to his room to roar. :) I feel sort of bad actually punishing him, because his little heart is genuinely broken and I'm not sure if I am supposed to have patience or discipline anyways. He just has seemed to get more and more particular about things. But it can wear my nerves to a frazzle and I just can totally lose patience with it. And sometimes it happens when we tell him to do something, too. So...so sorry. I feel your pain, my friend. My eardrums are rattling in sympathy. :)
We have a little boy who likes to cry too, when he has to do something that he doesn't want to, but we tell him "Don't cry too loud," (Brent takes him aside and speaks directly to him, gets down on his eye level and gets his attention, insisting on a lower volume). Graham drops the volume level a few notches, which I believe allows sadness to be vented, but not loud, defiant, angry crying. There's a difference, I guess, and even the children know that. Another command I issue Graham from time to time, "Stop fussing!" Or, "Sit here until you can stop fussing! When you're a happy boy again, you can play again."
L.
I don't know if Carrie will even read this, but we've learned that it helps to remove some choices and freedoms for a while (ouch) until they learn to accept what is prepared/planned for them. Then as they gain maturity, offer them choices, a few at a time. For instance, "We will read this book before nap," rather than, "What book do you want Mommy to read?" We will have cereal for breakfast, rather than do you want toast or pancakes or cereal today. It gives the parents control of situations rather than the child who is not yet mature enough to decide what is best for himself in any given moment. When they are eleven or twelve, yes, then they are given more choices. Make sense? I remember one of mine would often wake up from her nap as a BEAR!!!!! The landlady heard me with her outside one afternoon and thought something terrible must be wrong with the child, I explained, "No, she just woke up grumpy and I can't get her over it, we're going for a walk." Oh, parenting is humbling! Always know that kids will never be perfect, but there are techniques that can improve the peace in one's home and help us keep our equilibrium. Blogging is great, Syl, thanks!
Luci
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